faith = paycheck 2 paycheck?

I am guilty of wishing and living for the day that I have "made it" or "arrived" @ that perfect job (that pays me $60,000+ yr). But today I learned that, that is not what God wants of me. I say that I am a follower of Christ but I don't really follow him, I just kinda hang back and watch the path that he has set before me and then I find a nice place to sit down and rest (after such a grueling task of not following).

7 Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die: 8 Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, 9 lest I be full and deny you and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.

Proverbs 30:7-9

English Standard Version (ESV) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles

Would I really pray this? Well I can honestly say that I haven't. I think that I talk big about how I love God & Jesus, but I do a not so hot job of living out what Jesus asks of us in God's word. Lord please help me with this. I think that I am scared to completely trust Christ with my life here & now, the things that I have and my family. I want to be in control and provide for them.